This Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.